DEAR ABBY: Many wives write you about problems with their husbands who drink too much. If they live in a community property state, there's something important they need to know. If the husband drives drunk and causes an injury, both the wife and husband may be named as co-defendants — even if the wife wasn't involved. And if the injured party is successful in the lawsuit, the co-defendants together must pay.
Wives who tolerate their husband's refusal to stop drinking need to be aware of the economic hammer the law could have hanging over them. I just went through this experience. Had I known the law in our community property state would lump me in, I would have had a powerful reason to divorce my husband years ago after I realized he would never give up drinking. — GETTING THE WORD OUT IN PHOENIX
DEAR GETTING: Thank you for teaching me and my readers something. If someone has a spouse of EITHER sex with an alcohol problem who gets behind the wheel of a car, for their own protection, they should consult their lawyer and their insurance agent about what the ramifications could lead to.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a sophomore in high school, and I'm in love with a senior. I met him a year ago when we had some classes together. We liked each other, but because of our age difference, we never dated.
I thought I would get over him over the summer, but I didn't. We don't see each other at all this year, and I'm almost sure he's moved on. I feel like I need to move on, too, but deep down I really don't want to. I'm worried I'll never find someone I like as much as him. Help me get on with my life. — TOTALLY STUCK IN MONTANA
DEAR STUCK: A way to move forward would be to give yourself less time to think about him. Stay busy and keep your mind occupied with your studies. If you can get into new activities, do it. Not only will they distract you, but they will also give you the opportunity to learn something new as well as make more friends and perhaps meet someone equally special.
That said, do not expect to banish him completely from your heart. If he was your first love, he may always occupy a tiny portion of the real estate there.
DEAR ABBY: This has been happening for years, and I would like your advice, please. I like my meat well done. But whenever I order a steak that way, someone at the table invariably has to comment that I am ruining the texture, killing the taste, etc. Red or rare meat disgusts me. If I see blood on my plate, I can eat only the well-done parts around the edges. Is there a nice way of telling other people to mind their own business and let me order my food the way I want it? — STILL MOVING ON MY PLATE
DEAR STILL MOVING: Sure there is. All you have to do is smile and say, "That's my preference. This is the way I like it." Then chow down and change the subject.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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