“The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson about a dinner guest.

In preparation for James Comey’s opening act with his buddy George Stephanopoulos, I watched the movie "Chappaquiddick" on a rainy Sunday afternoon. This new movie about an old subject reminds us that when rising Democrat party star and Chappaquiddick Swim Champion of 1968, Ted Kennedy, left a mistress to drown and ran away, the U.S. Attorney for Massachusetts, a DA, and law enforcement were involved in the crime and the cover-up.

If you think for one second that higher-ups at the FBI and politically ambitious U.S. Attorneys would not lie, cheat, or conceal in order to help a political candidate, read history.

We have grown an alphabet soup of powerful agencies like the FBI, DHS, NSA, DOJ, IRS, etc. They can bully us because we invest them with immense powers to arrest and to ruin lives — with scant accountability. We allow them to operate in clubby secrecy because they tell us we have to. Why?

With that lack of accountability, the FBI has a budget of $8.4 billion and convicts about 10,000 Americans a year. So, we pay $840,000 per conviction just for the FBI, which does not count the cost to prosecute and incarcerate. Why?

Bureaucracies grow by making whatever they do (war: The Pentagon; drug wars: the DEA; the War on Poverty, etc.) worse, not better. You do not grow a bureaucracy by solving your agency's problems.

The FBI apparently has had so much time and money on its hands the last few years that, having run out of people to arrest, they had time to dabble in politics. Some up-and-comer in the FBI has advanced a theory that they can indict Trump on a little-known provision in Article 865-C of the Affordable Sorghum Act of 1897. Rumors abound that the guy might be the next Democrat nominee for FBI Director.

This brings us to the poster boy for bad cops, the sanctimonious James Comey, who is out pimping his book. Its contents have been a closely guarded secret, unlike our nation’s classified emails and the leaked secrets of the FBI.

Comey and Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe led a culture of corruption. They leaked FBI information that helped them and then lied about it. But when someone at the FBI misleads under oath, they call it “being less than forthcoming” and “misspeaking” and “lacking candor.” When we or political enemies do it, they perp-walk them like General Flynn and ruin their lives.

Comey wrote the exoneration of Hillary before the investigation was completed into her destroying 33,000 emails that were under subpoena, bleach-bit washing her PC, and taking a hammer to her cell phones.

But he ignored the Clinton Foundation’s Uranium One scandal, where the Clintons made money by selling 20 percent of our uranium reserves to Russia. Hillary said six other department heads had to sign off on the deal, but no one believes that — the Clintons would have to split their graft booty seven ways.

Where has all this weaponization of the FBI led us? Well, it just got Trump’s attorney arrested for paying off a porn star and ended the attorney-client privilege. Lawyers really have had a monopoly of screwing people out of money for years, until they met their match with porn star strippers.

A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron is often a guest on CNN. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.